As they Grow

This past weekend we joined millions of others in celebrating Memorial Day by going to a pool party and eating bar-b-que with friends. The company was great and a good time was had by all. While everyone was sitting around the pool I couldn't help but take in the sight of my three kids playing and splashing in the water, getting along for the first time in weeks. I remember what it was like to be a child and make friends for the day. Today we're besties, floating and diving and making up rules to our own games. Tomorrow we're sunburned, tired and happy. Nothing but the memories of a good time to get us through the last few days of school.

I love the age that my kids are now. Old enough to be on their own but still vulnerable enough to need the watchful eyes of their parents. Tim is 12 and is awkward, funny, and always just outside the group. Rebecca, at 10, seems to get along with everyone whether she wants to or not. She is too nice to say no to others even at a cost to herself. Diana, 7, is independent and voices her feelings without a filter, happy to play on her own or with others. As they splashed and laughed I observed and smiled, grateful for the opportunity.

There were kids of all ages at the gathering. I found myself being thankful that I no longer have to hop in the pool to insure their safety. I don't have to feel like the meddling mom, constantly checking on her brood. I can stay on the sidelines, within reach, and still answer the call, "Mom, watch this!" Or swim and play with them because they want me to, not because they need to.

I'm not even sure I miss those days. I loved having my babies. I loved carting them around, bathing them, clothing them, wiping away tears and cleaning boo boos. I would never trade it for anything. But I, much like my kids, have grown and changed. I have matured and am still working on becoming the mom I want to be. Every once in a while I still get to wipe away tears, but it won't be long before it's due to broken hearts or fights with friends instead of trips and falls. Boo boos are coming fewer and farther between and I've learned to treasure the time I have. I still sneak in their bedrooms at night to stroke their hair, kiss their cheeks, pull the blankets up a little higher. That is the one vice I will not give up.

I love the freedom that having kids has afforded me. They made me a better person. I don't feel tied down to them. I feel liberated by what they have given me. I was taught responsibility, how to educate, entertain, and worry. My kids gave me the freedom of choice. What kind of mom do I want to be?

I think the proof was in the pool that day. As all three kids forgot their petty arguments with each other and played uninhibited with a slew of other equally great kids, I felt a satisfaction like none other. Not that mom and dad don't love their dates; we just appreciate them all the more.

Kids grow up and you can't change that. You do have some control over what kind of person they will turn out to be. Nothing is ever perfect, including yourself. Cheers to the bittersweet adventure that children are.

4/5 - Because you can't stop it and you can't change it, even for the better.