Leaving a Job

Leaving a job you really enjoy is never an easy thing. Leaving it voluntarily seems somehow even harder. I have a wonderful job in assisted living working in memory care. But I have some health issues that are forcing me to take a closer look at what is truly important in my life. As a stroke survivor, I have had to learn the very difficult lesson of having to put yourself above all others when it comes to your health.

When my children were young, I fought my husband tooth and nail so that I could stay home and raise them. And I did. I don't want to say that we struggled, but we are definitely not well off. Things could have been much easier if I had gone back to work right after each child was born. As it was, by the time I was ready to go back to work I couldn't find a job. We made the decision for me to back to school. And I did really well. I even substitute taught part time for most of my years in college. I finished my Associate in Science and was working on my Bachelor's Degree when I had  my stroke.

But I still feel like I failed somehow. I accomplished a lot, yes. But I could always have done more. I know you're not supposed to live your life thinking about what else you could have done, but I know I could have done more and I refused. Now that I have the time, I can't. It's so hard not to feel discouraged and wonder where I went wrong.

The worst part about leaving work is the friends that I have made. I am a terrible friend. I don't make them easily and I don't keep in touch. I speak too abruptly and honestly. I hate talking on the phone. I don't particularly like listening to other people's problems over and over. I'll listen once and give you advice. But if you don't take it, don't come crying to me when things don't go right. I forget promises and I lose appointments. In general, I'm afraid that if I don't physically go to work to see these people I may never see them again. And I actually really like a lot of them.

That's not to say that I got along with everyone. No one gets along with everyone. If you're one of those annoying people that thinks they get along with everybody, let me tell you a little secret. Your coworkers talk about you behind your back. They secretly hate you for being so perfect. Therefore - you don't get along with anybody. Conflict is ok. It's healthy to have conflict in any relationship, even working relationships. So I'll miss those too.

My leaving is good, too. I get to stay home. And do laundry. Clean house. Take care of my mother in law.

Crap...

The Verdict

I give this 1/5. If it wasn't necessary, I wouldn't do it.